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Step OUT of that box you're in

Updated: Feb 20

I was always cautious, didn't take a chance, didn't know how to laugh at myself, didn't want to make a mistake. Therefore my life was predictable and safe. Eleven years ago, I found myself living in fear of the future. Life as I knew it was "shattering."


can hold us back and stop us from living our best life. Yet, I know that if my life hadn't done a complete 180, I would not have become the woman I always knew I could be, the woman I am today. But, it didn't happen overnight. My heart had been broken, shattered, and left for dead. https://www.divorceafterforty.comA quote from my book,

"My heart was crushed, but it was still there. I thought it had been torn apart and blown away in the tornado that had hit, but somehow a small piece had remained, and it was growing again. Why? Because I was nurturing it and taking care of it."

Part of my healing came from stepping OUT of my comfort zone. I knew I had to. Was I fearful? of course I was. But now I look back and admit how proud I am; of myself!!

It took courage and a lot of strength, but the World opened up once the box was gone! My life was full of adventure and good times, new friends, and beautiful experiences. I'm not getting into all of it, though, because it doesn't matter. Stepping out of your "Box" will look different for you.

You have to walk before you run. This rings true for many things in life. Looking back I am recalling how I learned to step out of my box. To take those first steps of being brave, confident, happy and Living Life! Its was scary but so rewarding.

Step 1Let's take the first few steps together. What is important to you? Family, friends, work, hobbies? Make a list. In fact make a VISION BOARD. Write down everything you want to accomplish and don't leave anything matter how far out of reach you may THINK it is. DO NOT limit yourself. Set it up in 3 Column 1 Column 2 Column 3

Ask yourself 3 questions. What do I want to experience? How do I want to grow? What do I want to contribute to society/world?

Column 1 list everything you want to experience/do

Column 2 How you want to grow

Column 3 What you want to contribute/give back

Step 2

Take a day where you do something you have never done before...NEVER. Find a friend who may challenge you or do it with you. Try gym class you've always wanted to try, order something off the menu when out that you have never tried. Better yet, go to a restaurant and dine alone. Again, don't limit yourself.

Step 3

Take a class. Online or in person. What have you always wanted to learn about? Is it for work advancement or personal knowledge? Just pick one. You may find yourself taking more after this one is complete. Yes you will.

Step 4

GET HEALTHY - OFF THE COACH- Get OUTSIDE - do you like the outdoors? There is so much to accomplish outside. If you currently are a coach potato start going for walks or start riding bike. Train for a 5k, 10k or 1/2 marathon. The point here is to challenge yourself physically. It's part of getting and staying healthy. Because that is STEP 5

Step 5 -

Work on the foods you put inside your body.

Let me introduce to you the Pantry has nothing to do with how pretty your pantry looks. It's about what is on the shelves of your pantry and how to choose healthy. Picking the right foods at the grocery store is where you start. Fill your shelves and fridge with healthy choices. It really makes a difference. When you eat foods that are good for you , you feel good.

Step 6

Be adventurous. Take a trip, learn to fish, learn to dance, join a club to meet new people. There are many opportunities in life but you have to reach out and take them. It will be unsettling and you may fall or make mistakes. It will get easier and you will gain confidence with everything new that you try. DOn't listen to anyone who may distract you or try and talk you out of doing something, anything new! Instead ask them to join you ! If they decline, share your adventurous story with them once you complete a new task.

I want to end with saying that there nothing in the above 6 steps that I didn't do myself. I took up archery, I traveled alone, I sit in restaurants and dine alone, I took classes on-line and became a Divorce, Health & Life coach. I wrote and just published my first book, yes,I say first

...beacause I am not closing the door on a possible second book. I have a dream of starting a non-profit and I am making that happen too. I am founder of

Divorce After Forty. I have a my list of columns and I am working my way through it.

Life is short you must


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