Divorce Doesn’t Have to Destroy: Why Collaboration Should Be the New Norm

Written By Nanette Murphy

Divorce is already emotionally complex — it shouldn’t also be financially devastating. Yet, for many couples, that’s precisely what happens when they choose a litigated divorce over a collaborative one.

Let’s talk numbers.

The average litigated divorce in the U.S. can cost upwards of $120,000. That’s often due to drawn-out court battles, back-and-forth communications between opposing attorneys, and an adversarial mindset that pits husband against wife.

Now let’s look at the alternative: a collaborative divorce. The average cost? Around $38,000. Still a significant investment, yes — but far less traumatic to your finances, your emotional well-being, and your family.

So what’s the difference?

Litigation: Two Attorneys, One Battlefield

In a traditional divorce, each party hires their attorney. These lawyers often approach the process as a zero-sum game. Every negotiation becomes a battle. The courtroom becomes the arena. And while each side may feel “protected,” it often comes at a high emotional and financial cost.

Collaboration: One Team, One Goal

A collaborative divorce brings together a team, not two sides. This may include collaborative attorneys, a divorce coach, a neutral financial advisor, and possibly a child specialist. Everyone is working together with one common goal: to help both parties transition into their next chapter with dignity, clarity, and mutual respect.

There’s no courtroom. No drawn-out depositions. No “winning” or “losing.” I

ntentional and respectful work to create a fair agreement that supports everyone, including your children.

Why Collaboration Needs to Be the New Norm

Divorce will always come with grief, loss, and tough decisions. But it doesn’t have to go with bitterness, blame, and bankruptcy. Collaborative divorce:

  • Reduces conflict

  • Protects children from emotional fallout

  • Saves money

  • Preserves relationships — especially important for co-parenting

  • Allows for more control and creativity in decision-making

You wouldn’t dismantle your entire financial future to prove a point.

But that’s what litigation often becomes — a fight over principle, fueled by pain.

Collaboration, on the other hand, is a process driven by hope, healing, and a shared desire to move forward.

Choose the Path That Honors Your Family

Divorce doesn’t have to be war. It can be a transition. And it can be done with grace.

If you’re facing divorce, I encourage you to consider collaborative approaches not just for yourself, but for your children, your future, and your peace of mind.

The path you choose now will shape the rest of your life. Choose the one that builds, not breaks.

Reach out to me for a more in-depth discussion.

nmurphy.livelifenow@gmail.com

Nanette Murphy

I help women heal, reclaim their power and step boldly into a new life.

To assist them as they navigate this transition;turning this challenging time into an opportunity so they can experience growth and empowerment.

As a Life Reinvention Coach for Divorced Women, I provide something beyond traditional therapy, and it’s the support most divorced women desperately need. Divorce can shatter your sense of self, leaving you feeling disconnected, doubting your worth, and uncertain about your future. Many women attempt to push through on their own, often relying solely on willpower and sheer determination. But without true healing and the right guidance, they fall into familiar traps, repeating patterns and feeling stuck, only to end up right back where they started.

https://www.livelifenowwithpurpose.com
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Navigating the Storm: Why You Need a Divorce Coach in Your Corner